I have started about 5 posts…none deemed good enough for publication. Then I ask, what does “good enough” mean anyway? This one is for sure not “good enough” for publication.
I want to write about two related (unrelated) issues. First, it is my desire to live a congruent, transparent life, but I am so far from that aspiration. Secondly, I often feel as though I am falling short.
I am going through some chaotic issues in my own life. At some level I want to share these with everyone, I want to be heard, yet at another level the possibility or being misunderstood, or judged, keeps me from being 100% open. What does a transparent life look like?
Related to this, these chaotic issues are probably affect my teaching and participation in other activities. I am slow at grading and getting students feedback; I always have a long list of “to do’s” for my committee work and joint research. I could blame these shortcomings on my chaotic life, or I could just say that I am completely incompetent. The reason isn’t really the point. The point is that I feel as though I am often falling short. Does everyone feel this? Is it a feminine characteristic?